Where am I heading?

What the heck just happened? I went to sleep, full of hope and so much stronger.

And when I woke up, it was all gone. The tears came back.

But, I realised something.

What I can't let go of are the memories.

And I still associate the memories with him, I refuse to admit that he's changed.

And really. He has.

"I guess I'm still young." Ha! That line you said when you broke up with me was so damn funny. You know why? That was barely 2 days ago. Guess what man. You're still young. You felt like you loved me so much man. And you still were fickle of heart. I don't see this going anywhere good, but I'll be praying. Praying that no one gets hurt.

When I imagine...you two...doing the things we used to do...The tears come back unwanted.

It was all taken away from me in the blink of an eye. Given to someone else.

I'm amazed that your heart can be given away that easily...

Now, let's see what a good girlfriend does. Besides the love and all that.

Firstly, when you KNOW that your boyfriend is going on the wrong path, you know what you say?

You definitely don't say, "He's being unreasonable, that's true." Well, at least you admitted it. But what about when you say, "It's not my problem! I'm staying out of this..."

PLEASE. You know that he is unreasonable and you don't do a thing about this? Dismiss it as not your problem and conveniently ignore it?

He is hurting other people man. Don't be so selfish.

Think of it this way. Even if you hate the person who's being hurt like shit, even if you think they are a bitch or bastard, DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR BOYFRIEND TO MAKE THE MISTAKE THAT YOU KNOW GOD WON'T LIKE?

I guess I fulfilled this point to the best of my ability. When he picked a fight with Elphin cos of some mis-said words, I told him to stop fighting because of me. And guess what? I wasn't his girlfriend at that time? XD

Another thing a girlfriend does not do, is hurt others, and then act like she's the ONLY one who has been hurt. Now, that's just not nice.

I guess I did that. Oh well. I'm a failure as a girlfriend then.

Oh well. Whatever it is, I'll be praying. That no one gets hurt. That your blind eyes may see, that you may go back to the kind person you were before I hurt you unwittingly.

The paragraph before this was just confusing, like I was talking to a thousand people at once. xD Ok, fine, it just felt like what it was. Talking to two.

I really don't see how asking someone to give me sometime, and stay as friends with him is hurting? I mean, think of it this way. He just broke up with me. Do you seriously want to jump into another relationship with him? Sure you don't wanna give it some thought? It has been what. 2 days. A day then. XD

Sigh...Life is so confusing.

A note to all readers, only 2 or 3 paragraphs of this is dedicated to people. The rest, esp some in the what a girlfriend should do list, well, all self reflection actually. Some instigated some not. (:

I haven't been all that great. But nobody's perfect.

Neither are you. Or you. Or you. Or you. I can go on for a million billion yous. Cos fact of life is, NO ONE IS PERFECT.

1 week of arguments, 5 months of love. Which would you wanna focus on?

People just like focusing on the bad things.

WOO! NEXT JOURNAL ENTRY FOUND! =D

I love you, you love me, we are happy family...

If only life were that perfect, Barney...if only...

I will be praying. For myself. For you. For you. For you. For everyone I care about. For the strangers I have yet to know.

God, open our eyes that we may see your light. Open our hearts that we may hear the cries of others' hearts. Open our tongue that we may speak only words that are not hurtful, and words pleasing to your ear. Open our mouth, that we may proclaim your goodness to the world. Open our ears, that we be discerning in what we hear. Open our minds, Lord, that we may be thoughtful of the consequences of the future.

I wonder how long all this will last...I want to move on, leave you two be, truly give you two my blessings.

And if this post struck the sore points of anyone, I guess it just means
1. Guilty
2. Acknowledgement
3. Understanding
4. Acceptance

Oh...acceptance looks so out of place there. >.< Haha

>_____< Is supposed to look guilty? Looks like a happy person acting guilty to me. Emoticon, oh emoticon. Why art thou face so confusing, that when I look upon it, I am lost in false emotion?

Amazing what a few lines can do.
>_<
Vs.
>___________<

Another journal entry! I like! Hope the ideas keep pouring in.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I got a speech to prepare for. Feel so unprepared. >.< LOL.

I pray that I switch into my "Ad libbing genius impromptu perfectus" when I go in front of the class.

Ahaha. That's just crap. xD

I am the mould. >.< I guess that's what I get for telling God to use me as he will. xD

Lord, use me as you will. But keep me strong, for my shortcomings are many, and my strengths few.

Ja'ne!

-Ade-

PS: STUPID BLOGGER IS SCREWING UP MY ENTRY, BUNCHING PARAGRAPHS TOGETHER AND TAKING OUT WORDS! T.T