A face I will never be able to forget

Just because someone seems hypocritical, does that mean the person is delusional?

Hypocrites don't necessarily delude themselves.

Some of them even see better than us! xD

And just because someone gets angry at a good friend, does that make them a hypocrite? Don't we get angry because we love them? How absurd is it, really, to say bitter things when someone important hurts you? Is it all that absurd? The more you love the person, the more hurt you'd be, right?

But, anyways, thats not my real reason for blogging.

When I was thinking of that first question this morning, a face suddenly flashed through my mind.

It was an angry face, twisted with hatred.

And I remember when I saw that face.

I haven't told many people about this, because I myself have been trying to ignore that the face really appeared.

But perhaps its time.

That night, after the choir concert.

You said you'd send me home, I said there wasn't a need for you to ever send me home again because I knew you didn't mean it.

You said you'd send me up, and started walking. So I followed.

As I walked alongside you in silence, I suddenly thought.

Why in the world am I going home now when I don't want to?

So I stopped.

And you turned around, and whispered harshly, contempt dripping from your voice "Go!"

And your face. It was the ugliest face I had ever seen in my life. Pure hatred.

The way you stared at me, with your eyes bulging and your nostrils flaring. And something else I can't quite explain. Hatred takes no form after all. Yet it formed your whole face at that moment.

It instigated the fighter in me, and I stared right back even though it was scary.

And silly me, at that time, the silly me only knew to think "You're not the boss of me, even if I love you."

But now, looking back...

A person who had such a kind heart...

That when betrayed by his closest friend, wasn't angry at all, just sad.

Was, at that time, standing before me, full of anger and hatred.

He had changed.

You had changed.

Perhaps, it was that face that awakened me to that fact.

This isn't you Daryl.

Stop living a lie.

And...I will never forget that face.

Not because it was the ugliest.

But because it was the saddest thing in the world. To see a face like that...was pure sad.

And also because it broke a broken heart.

That face will always be a reminder.

Of how far one so kind can fall...

And perhaps, how I failed to save that kind person.

Or perhaps, how I succeeded.

The face will remain etched on the insides of my heart, now and forever.

Just like my love for you will remain.