A night of contemplation

Tonight, for some reason, I started thinking...

And one thing led to another...

The thing I wanna talk about is...

I have changed...I know I have...I can feel it...see it...

But, do I like this new me?

Sure, I don't react so angrily to certain things now...

Sure, I am learning to try and watch my words...

Sure, I have grown and matured...

But...do I like it?

Honestly...I would rather go back to the days, when I was ignorant, but I was happy.

Because, sometimes, knowledge can be the bane you know?

Knowing too much can hurt.

And while I was worse at controlling my temper...

While I hadn't grown so much...

I could smile more.

And sometimes, a smile makes more difference than anything ever will...

Some prices should simply not be paid...

And a smile is one of them...

Because a smile is man's greatest treasure.

An autistic child may not be able to say words of wisdom when you need them.

But, he can smile.

And you suddenly feel better.

Such is the power behind a smile...

Greater than any amount of knowledge...

Especially when the smile contains love.

I need to find my smile again...

And yet, will it ever be found?

For truly, it wasn't the only price I paid.

And somethings...when gone...take a part of you with them...

A part I held dear...

A part that loved to smile...

But that isn't the only thing I thought about...

Why is it, that everytime we gain something, we have to lose something important as well?

Equivalent exchange sounds good and logical and all...

But at the end of the day...does God need all that?

Isn't all he needs...a heart full of faith and love?

A heart that fears him?

Without the bad times, the good times wouldn't be as good...

I agree totally...thats why I always say, have a good year, with just enough sadness in it to make the good times that much brighter...

But...some things should never be taken away...or given away...

Some things...are just too precious...

And sometimes...when we choose to give something away...

We aren't the only ones who lose something...

So, next time you think of giving up your smile...

Think of someone out there who might be in love with it...

And don't give it up...

And another thing...

I always believed in...everything that happens, we choose...

Yet, now I see how that isn't true...

Sometimes, we don't choose for something...

But it happens anyway...

Just like how I fell for you...